


Weight of a Promise, Treasure, and Love

by Junjoupureheart



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: ...yeah, Angst, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Robot/Human Relationships, Somehow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 03:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junjoupureheart/pseuds/Junjoupureheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He made a promise to keep living and be happy, and when the time to prove it comes, it really is hard for him to stay strong and act tough.</p><p>(A story of how Clear manages to be happy after Aoba’s death, and how this story should also end in a happy ending).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weight of a Promise, Treasure, and Love

**Author's Note:**

> After exams are done, I'll be back to continue Blue Rosemary, so please bear with it for a little longer!

Today, Aoba-san died.

 

I sing the Jellyfish song for the umpteenth time, as a farewell gift for him—so he can rest peacefully. I keep singing and singing next to his lifeless, old body in his white room where we’ve always been together. This room have a warm scent of our memories together, lingering still even after his calm death.

 

His body is already pale, and his face is full of wrinkles. His once blue, silky hair is now all white and rough in my fingertips.

 

But it never matters how Aoba-san looks physically in this world. In my eyes, he always looks beautiful—radiating and shining as he smiled and called my name.

 

Aoba-san... is always beautiful. He has always been, and will always be.

 

Aoba-san told me about this once back then. He told me about how we are different and how time will pass so much with a blink; how one day he will leave me. I understand all of them really well, even before he told me all of that.

 

I understand that Aoba-san is a human, and he will leave me first. I understand that being in this relationship will deeply hurt both of us. I know how much Aoba-san  doesn’t want to leave me all alone... and I know how he had thought of not meeting me again after I was repaired, so that both of us would not end up hurting each other.

 

But... we’re so selfish, too selfish for that.

 

The thought of not being together hurts too much, and we ended up being selfish. Even knowing that we would hurt each other and suffer like this, we still wanted to be together.

 

He had said this selfishness is a form of ‘love’(1).

 

And I believed in it.

 

I... I really ‘love’ Aoba-san. Back then, I didn’t care if we would suffer and hurt each other in the future. All I coud think of back then was that precious moment that was happening between us, and I wanted to be together and be happy just like that. I just wanted to be with Aoba-san, and it was all that matters.

 

I know, that all those happy moments will also end.

 

I already know that it’s going to be hurt. Right now, I feel as if I am losing an irreplaceable part of my body that keeps me alive. When Aoba-san died, it feels like the world didn’t even matter to me anymore. Aoba-san is the reason why I can be a human, and yet  just like Grandpa, he left me, all alone.

 

It hurts, It’s suffocating, and I finally realize how much of a weight those words I promised him.

 

_From now on, forever, I will always be happy._

 

...

 

Can I?

 

Can I really be happy for Aoba-san’s sake from now on?

 

I did say those words in order to show my happiness and gratefullness to have met him, but...

 

Can I really be sure now, that I will be able to make myself happy, in a world where Aoba-san is no longer there? Where I am all alone without Aoba-san’s voice?

 

...I can’t even answer that...

 

And yet, I don’t regret my choices. I can’t regret them. I still remember how precious our time was together. I remember how he smiled, how he laughed, how he cried on my chest when Tae-san finally rested and left us, and how he moaned my name below me, writhing as we made love with each other. And then, I would sing my Jellyfish song for him, and he would stroke my face, kissing the two moles in my chin as he said those precious words.

 

_I love you, Clear._

 

Those memories  are so precious—too precious for me. Even if it’s so painful – it had been really fun and I was really happy. They have always been my treasure  and if back then we didn’t choose this path, all those happy, beautiful memories would never happen. And I would never have the chance to see all of those different sides of Aoba-san.

 

We are so, so selfish. And this might be the punishment for all of that.

 

And yet we don’t regret it.

 

I stop my singing, feeling a painful prick in my nonexistent heart—no, my real heart—as I put my hand over Aoba-san’s now cold hand, before bringing it to my chest. Tears well up in my eyes as I press Aoba-san’s hand against my chest.

 

...it hurts.

 

Even though this body is fake, this feeling feels so real it really hurts.

 

“Uuugh... uh....”

 

These tears, this voice of mine, and this body—they are all artificial. They are not real. They are only something born because I was programmed to be able to think, learn and be a human.

 

“Aoba-san...”

 

But for Aoba-san and me, they are real. They are true and real, because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t hurt this much. It wouldn’t be this painful.

 

_“Aoba-san...”_

 

Even this pain is a reason of why I am alive. Why I am a human.

 

“Aoba-san... can you feel it? My heart is still thumping like this.” I sob weakly, knowing that there won’t be any reply coming out that dry lips. “Even if I am like this, I am still here. My heart is still beating so hard. I am still alive, and I will always be, for you.”

 

_For being together with me, always..._

_Clear... thank you._

 

Those were the last words I heard from Aoba-san before he left me all alone.

 

Still wearing a gentle, innocent smile like my grandpa did, Aoba-san closed his eyes.

 

Never again, I will be able to talk with him.

 

Never again will I hear Aoba-san’s  voice, calling my name. Never... again.

 

I knew that.

 

I definitely don’t regret my choice to be with Aoba-san and we made so many happy memories together, so I was prepared... I was ready for it.

 

...I thought I was.

 

“Aoba... san...”

 

I look at his peaceful face. I hold Aoba-san’s face carefully, and his cold skin gives me a terrible feeling of great loss. With tears still dripping down my face, I kiss Aoba-san’s chin, like he always kissed the two moles in my chin, before I lean upwards to kiss his lips.

 

“Good night... Aoba-san.”

 

__

 

I buried Aoba-san near the hill, next to where I buried my Grandpa. It was sad that I can’t have a proper funeral for him, since everyone we knew have long gone as time passed, and by know, I was the only person left alone.

 

...no. It’s not that. It’s just my selfishness that I want to bury him next to my Grandpa. The hill has a best scenery to see the sea, and I hope it will be a good place for Aoba-san to rest.

 

As I stare at the two tombs I buried myself, I let my mind took me back to rewatch the fragment of memories I’ve collected with Aoba-san.

 

Koujaku-san was a great and reliable person. Aoba-san and I admired him greatly and Koujaku-san was always taking care of Aoba-san whenever I went for my monthly repair.

 

Noiz-san was very unfriendly and reckless, but secretly attentive to Aoba-san. There were times where I was jealous whenever Noiz-san was too close with Aoba-san.

 

I have never seen Mink-san ever since the incident in Platinum Jail, but despite his cold demeanor, he has his soft sides. I really hope he had a peaceful, happy life.

 

Tae-san took a great care of Aoba-san and I. I was so sad when she left us, but I am sure she rested in peace, like Grandpa did.

 

The last words she gave to me before she left us is still ringing in my head, even until now.

 

_Please, take care of Aoba._

 

I wonder if I was able to fulfish her wish until the end. Aoba-san was smiling until the end, but was he happy? Or was he also in deep pain because of the inevitable knowledge that he have to leave me?

 

I will never know the answer. I can only treasure what I have with him. The precious time I spent  with him which will always be inside of my memories.

 

Time really goes so fast. It feels like the incident in Platinum Jail had just happened yesterday. It was the time where Aoba-san taught me about life and death. It was the time where Aoba-san taught me to be a human. It was the time where Aoba-san taught me these painful, yet tender feelings a machine like me should never have.

 

_It feels like everything had just happened yesterday._

 

Again, I feel a stinging pain and my tears welled up.

 

_It’s not fair._

_Our time together, was too short, Aoba-san..._

 

 I know it’s selfish for me to think of that. I was supposed to ‘die’ back then after all. I was given a chance to be able to be with Aoba-san once again, so I should be grateful, and yet...

 

And yet I feel angry and painful rage I can’t aim to anyone because I can’t be with Aoba-san longer. For humans, they won’t be able to be revived after they die. My body is physically a robot, and no matter what I think, it won’t change.  I used to hate that difference that makes a line between Aoba-san and I, but it was exactly because of that, I was able to be revived and be with Aoba-san once again.

 

But now... I can only rage at nothing because I can’t die with Aoba-san.

 

Such a selfish, ugly feeling... I can’t believe I can even be like this.

 

I cried by myself once again hugging Aoba-san’s tomb, overwhelming sadness numbing my body while the sun is setting and the sky is preparing for the night to envelope her. These tears, these voice of mine, everything is artificial.

 

But even so, my feelings for you are real, Aoba-san. It would be cruel if they are not, because I can feel it this painful, this suffocating...

 

I think I didn’t move from Aoba-san’s tomb for about a month. It’s not until I feel a drop of water from the sky that I realized it’s raining and time has once again passed so long. Noticing my pathetic, pitiful condition, I feel shame for not taking care of myself better even though I promised Aoba-san I’ll be happy. Even though it’s hard for me to leave Aoba-san, I slowly get up and get back to my house, intending to clean myself.

 

The rain reminds me of our first kiss together. It’s painful to remember, but at the same time it gives me a sweet feeling that warm my chest.

 

When Aoba-san died, I brought Ren-san with me. Even though Ren-san is a really old allmate, Aoba-san never changed his allmate. Since Ren-san’s body is old, when his body started having malfunctions, Aoba-san was really panicked. Ren-san had been Aoba-san’s partner for a really, really long time after all, of course they have a really deep bond no one can’t have, and I can understand Aoba’s anxieties as well.  Aoba-san and I tried fixing and taking care of Ren and amazingly, Ren-san was still able holding off even until afterAoba-san’s death, despite his constant malfunctions and his slowly glitching progams.

 

I try turning Ren on. It takes longer now than he used to, but amazingly he still manages to start on.

 

“Good morning, Clear.”

 

“Hello, Ren-san. It has been awhile since you last wake.”

 

“Indeed it is. My monitor told me it’s been about a month since I was last turned on. Are you okay? You look dirty.”

 

I stare at my dirty muddy clothes and gave the allmate a forced smile.

 

“Yeah...  I am okay.“

 

“...”

Ren stares at me with an expression I can’t really read. The next words come from him though, surprise me.

 

“Please don’t blame yourself. Aoba’s wish is only for you to be happy after his death.”

 

I feel the meaning of the words pierce my heart, and I bit my lips to stop myself from crying. With my trembling hand, I stroke his fluffy fur, noticing how careful Aoba-san had always taken care of him even until his death.

 

That’s right, Ren-san was also there with me when Aoba-san died. Ren-san is an old allmate, and he couldn’t even cry to show how painful for him to part with Aoba. Even so, I heard Ren-san’s sad voice, strangely deeper and more apologetic than usual as he spoke his farewell to Aoba-san.

 

I wonder, if it hurt Ren-san for not being able to cry for Aoba-san.

 

Aoba-san was too weak to hold Ren-san, so Ren-san was the one who put his paws on Aoba-san’s shoulder, and bump their foreheads together.

 

Aoba-san, said, with his raspy voice, _Thank you as always(2)_.

 

Ren-san was silent, before with a really heartbreaking voice, he replied, _The pleasure is all mine(3)_.

 

It was a really heart wrenching scene, moreso because I know, Ren-san himself probably won’t last long himself. Ren-san is like me after all, he is also an artificial human made. It really hurt the both of us to be left by our most precious person because of a difference like this.

 

“Ren-san... your body...”

 

I checked on his belly where Aoba-san usually did to check his maintanance. A lot of monitors showed up and a lump of sadness is caught in my throat when I see his poor health. He really has been enduring so long to stay besides Aoba-san.

 

“I know. My body won’t hold on much after this.”

 

“...”

 

I stroked his fur calmly, but my mind was a jumble mess of panic and fear.

 

I am so  scared to be truly left all alone. Being left by Aoba-san has really been so hard for me. At least... at least I want Ren-san to stay with me.

 

But even if I try moving his AI chip to other allmate model, it won’t match because Ren-san’s chip is older type and it won’t synchronize with newer models well. No matter what I do, it’s inevitable that Ren-san will also shut down and sleep forever. I can’t do anything to fix his old model.

 

Once again, someone will leave me.

 

I think I can understand Aoba-san’s feelings better now when I died back then. I am a robot, so I can be fixed, but it must be painful for Aoba-san back then to wait and try fixing me, again and again.

 

The feeling of being left all alone is really hurtful and agonizing.

 

Aoba-san... must have hurt so much when I left him that time.

 

...I really did an awful thing to Aoba-san back then.

 

Ren-san must have realized my anxieties too, that’s why he put his paw on me and ask me:

 

“Clear, I have a wish I hope you will grant.”

 

I have a feeling  I know and understand what Ren-san wants, but I nod and let him continue. He closed his eyes, and licks a tear that drips down my cheek.

 

...ah. I haven’t realized that I’ve cried again. How shameful...

 

“Don’t cry Clear. Aoba-san’s wish is for you to be happy, so it will also be my wish that you can live happily.”

 

I smile at those words. I can see that Ren-san is worried for me and I can feel his concern, but the meaning of those words really weighed down on the pain that’s enveloping my heart.

 

It’s a cruel thing to think, but there’s a part inside me that thinks I won’t be able to fulfill Ren-san’s wish—that I won’t be able to keep my promise with Aoba-san. Biting my lips, I don’t answer the allmate I am holding in my hands, and instead ask him, “Is there anything else you want me to do?”

 

Ren-san was silent for a long time.

 

His next words pierce my heart, renderring me speechless.

 

“...I... I want to be with Aoba, until the end. Please... let me be with Aoba, until my last moment.”

 

I watch Ren-san stay in front of Aoba-san’s tomb until the moment his body was no longer able to function and shuts down.  We didn’t even have a proper farewell—We just stayed together until his body suddenly slumped to the ground, as if the string of his life was cut right in front of my eyes. I curl his body so he looks like he’s sleeping above Aoba-san’s tomb, and pull his AI chip from his body and pocket it, holding on a slight glimmer of hope that one day I might see Ren-san once again.

 

Even if it’s only a beautiful lie called hope that will hurt me for eternity.

 

__

 

A year has passed since then.

 

I moved back to Grandpa’s house. It’s closer for me to visit Grandpa, Aoba-san and Ren-san’s tombs. I take care of their peaceful rest, and give my self a constant self maintanance to make sure I work well. All the whole time, I smile and talk to myself like Aoba-san is there.

 

“Aoba-san,how are you? Today is a good day too! I should buy groceries later. Even if I don’t need to eat, but sometimes I miss cooking for you too.”

 

The whole time, I was smiling.

 

I also tried making a new allmate model by my own self for Ren-san’s AI chip, but no matter what I did, they never sync well. I know from the start that it’s quite impossible for me, a robot made spesifically for combat, to make something as complicated as an allmate model, but I still try my hardest. The model allmate body I made looks like a flying jellyfish, and I sometimes laugh in wonder of what would Ren-san say if he was finally able to sync and see his new floating body.

 

...it is nothing but  a mere false hope of wonderment that happen in my head though. In actuallity, I don’t think it will really happen.

 

Despite all of that, I put his AI chip on my pocket because I don’t want to lose that hope.

 

But even so, I still live my life as they pass day by day like this, inside this small house, alone.

 

“Aoba-san, the night has come again. I think it’s already the time for me to sleep, so I should bid you farewell.”

 

The whole time, I was smiling.

 

But inside of me, there is only anything but happiness.

 

__

 

I kept lying to myself. I tried concincing myself I was happy.

 

But after I lose my function to count the time that has passed, I finally was hit by a harsh fact that all this time, I was never able to fulfill my promise to Aoba-san, and never will be able to. I was never happy with this life. I only suffer and mask myself with a smile.

 

Talking all alone, like a lunatic as I imagine Aoba-san is still here...

 

Even I have my limit.

 

When I realize that, I scream in anger and self hatred, crying so hard as I break the furniture in my bedroom. I look at the reflection  of my pathetic state, and see how I never age despite all the time that has passed. That reality give me a painful blow and in blind rage, I shatter that mirror into pieces. In my blazing fury, I think of something cruel and selfish—something that should be unthinkable for me of the past.

 

_I wish I was never alive._

_This life is nothing but a curse._

_What Grandpa and Aoba-san gave me was a curse. A momentary happiness in exchange for an_ _eternity of_ _torture._

 

As I think of that, for a moment I can feel my self hatred change its direction to the most precious persons I have. And the moment I realize what I have just thought, I freeze as I am is hit by overwhelming sadness. I am a failure. I am such a pathetic, selfish thing. How could I direct my anger to my Grandpa and Aoba-san, who wants nothing more but my happiness? How could I be such a cruel person, not thinking of every single thing they have done in order to make me the human I wished for? How could I think of those thoughts even though I promised Aoba-san to be happy?

 

Even though... I promised to be happy...

 

I feel my sight blur and tears start pouring down my eyes. I bawl pathetically againts my bed, the whole time muttering only the name of the person I love, as if seeking for forgiveness for my unatonable sins—for my selfishness and my weaknesses for not being able to stand this hellish agony.

 

“Aoba-san...” I sob, again and again, crying myself until my eyes are dry. “I am sorry, Aoba-san... I am so sorry...”

 

It really is impossible for me after all.

 

“I wasn’t able... to keep my promise...”

 

I never smile again after that.

 

__

 

I stop giving myself check up maintanances. I have given up my life and wait for death to come for me once again. I sit myself on the bed where I and Aoba-san used to share our body warmth with each other, and never move from that spot.

 

In my selfishness of stopping this pain, I delude myself that death will unify me and Aoba-san together once again, this time for eternity.

 

__

 

I stop thinking. Thinking will just hurt me, so I just stay there motionless. I am only a thing that’s waiting its battery to run out of its life.

 

__

 

Finally... Finally the time for my death day has come.

 

I understand that well because I know my body. It’s finally at its limit and my programs will cease from functioning soon.

 

 I didn’t know how long time has passed, but after not moving my body for what it feels like eternity, I crack a smile on my face.

 

Everything about this room is so dusty and dirty. It must be so long since I last cleaned this room.

 

Has it been a year? 10 years? 100 years? Or 500 years, maybe?

 

It doesn’t matter anymore.

 

Finally, I will be released from this eternal torture.

 

I will finally be put on eternal sleep.

 

I open my mouth, testing if I can still move. I saw a spark of electricity and feel incredible pain shot through my numbing body. It has been so long since I last moved, so to force my body to function again is too much. Well, since I am going to die, it really doesn’t matter.

 

I finally.... am going to meet Aoba-san again.

 

It has been so long... since I feel ‘happiness’ once again.

 

Not feeling anything for so long, the pain really is too much for my old, rusty body. Still, I grit my teeth and open my lips, not caring about my body as I try to remember how to call that name, how to  move my tongue and pronounce that person’s name.

 

“A... o...

 

“Ao...b..a... sa—“

 

The time I said his name, suddenly warmth electricity envelope my body and my eyes widen in shock. My body is breaking down, but it suddenly feels hot all over and every memories that is shared inside this suddenly flickering on and off inside my head.

 

Is it an error because I am shutting down? Because I am gonna die everything that’s stored deep inside my memories are now coming back to my head. These are the things I have forgotten, the things I locked deep down inside because it was so painful to remember them.

 

There was a saying that before someone dies, their memories flash before them, ending with an image of the person they love. The thing that is happening to me right now is so awfully and ironically similar with that saying and it somehow warms my heart.

 

To be able to die is one of human traits. So by dying like this, I might have really become a human.

 

I close my eyes, and I see my memories flash before me.

 

The time I spent with Grandpa.

 

The time Grandpa died and left me.

 

The time when i first feel loneliness and sadness.

 

The first time I heard Aoba-san’s voice. The first time I met Aoba-san.

 

The time Aoba-san first heard my Jellyfish song.

 

The time we went to Platinum Jail, together.

 

The time when Aoba-san got angry with my silly antics and hit my head.

 

The time when I protected Aoba-san for the first time.

 

The time when I showed my face to Aoba-san the first time. The time Aoba-san called me beautiful.

 

The time I confessed to Aoba-san. The first time we kissed.

 

The time I protected Aoba-san in Oval Tower. The time I decided to sacrifice myself in order to save Aoba-san.

 

The first time we made love. The first time I saw Aoba-san cried.

 

The time Aoba-san called me a human.

 

The first time I died.

 

The time I was revived. The time I heard Aoba-san’s voice again.

 

The time I embrace Aoba-san for the second time.

 

The time I and Aoba-san... spent together.

 

The time... I and Aoba-san laugh together. Cry together. Laugh together.

 

Those times.... I treasured...

 

In the middle of breaking down, I feel realization dawned and my eyes shot open in shock and pain, guilt and self hatred once again filling my system.

 

...

 

_No._

_No, this is wrong._

_This shouldn’t be happening._

 

...I...

 

I was such an idiot.

 

How could I forget it?

 

I promised Aoba-san to be happy. And because I can’t stand the pain of being alone, I forgot the most important thing and ran away from the promise I should be keeping.

 

I... I am physically a robot.

 

Even though my feelings are real and I believe there is a heart inside of me, in the reality, everything about me is nothing but non-existent.

 

It was a sad truth I’ve been trying to run away all this time, but at the same time, I forgot the most precious thing of why Aoba-san and I love each other so much, even becoming like this.

 

Isn’t that because we love each other so much, knowing that Aoba-san will hurt me like this, we chose to stay together? Isn’t that because Aoba-san knew that the precious moment we shared together will always be carried by me, that he entrust them to me after his death?

 

After his death, I don’t know where Aoba-san’s soul went. But no matter what, after I shut down, I won’t be able to meet him, because in the first place, I don’t have a soul. That soul is only made after Grandpa and Aoba-san gave me emotions... and I only knew that after Aoba-san scrapped me—to give me the proof that I do have a soul.

 

They turned me into a human. I, the one who was once a robot, now is a human – one with a soul.

 

But once I died... that soul will perish, and the time and memories we have spent will...

 

I won’t be able to be together with him in my death. After I shut down, I will be nothing but a lump of broken machine, and any trace and proof of me living as human will cease into nothingness. I will be nothingness, and the fact that I had become a human once will completely disappear without a trace.

 

This is why Aoba-san wants me to keep alive— _to be happy_.

 

By living, as a robot, I can keep the precious memories of us together forever. By living on, I will never stop being a human and I will always be able to hold on to the proof that our love existed and it will exist for eternity. I am the proof that Aoba-san existed and if I die, everything about our memories, and about our love, will perish completely.

 

Even if dying is a human trait... what was the point of me shutting down if I didn’t even try to live as a human at all? What was the point of dying, if I denied the life given from Aoba-san to me to live as a human?

 

All this time, I have never really tried to understand Aoba-san. I selfishly kept thinking of myself, of how much I wanted to die to end this torture. I didn’t understand... that dying is useless when I didn’t even try to properly live as a human.

                                                                                                                                                                    

By living on... I can show the world that I have become a human. And that fact is supported by this precious memories I treasured with Aoba-san together. The precious memories that will never be forgotten and keep on existing in this world, for eternity.

 

It was my treasure. Every single of this precious memories. How could I have forgotten...

 

Why did I think by dying, I would be able to meet Aoba-san?

 

I was... I was such an idiot. I can never forgive myself for it.

 

I soil our love with the wish of wanting to die. I am the worst.

 

But because of that, I feel a big urge from inside of my heart to keep on living. Just like that, a powerful feeling envelope my entire mind with one strong, powerful wish.

 

 I don’t want to die. I want to live.

 

_I want to live!_

 

My body is breaking apart and I can feel my death is nearing even faster. I panic and I scream in my bed. Spark after spark of electricity are all over my body, and tears are once again welled in my eyes. I thought I had cried myself dry back then, but apparently I am still able to shed them. In desperation and despair, despite the pain, I try to move my body. I fall from the bedroom with a thud, and I crawl pathetically, trying to reach the door handle that’s out of my grasp.

 

I don’t want to die, I don’t want to!!

 

Someone... please, save me...

 

I have to live for Aoba-san’s sake, that’s why, please....

 

Please...!!

 

Anyone is okay, I beg you. I beg you!!!

 

S              O             M            E              O             N             E              S              A             V             E        M       E

 

...

 

.......

 

................................................................

 

...I think, it might be really too late for me.

 

I have destroyed what’s left of our love.

 

I have failed Aoba-san. And now I really am going to die.

 

It probably is... really the end for me now.

 

_But still..._

 

Still I don’t stop screaming.

 

Still, even though there’s no hope and I can only cry in despair, I don’t want to give up.

 

Until the end, until the end, in desperation, I pray to someone.

 

So that proof that Aoba-san’s existence won’t disappeard.

 

So that proof of our love won’t disappear.

 

In the middle of my desperation and my inner turmoil, suddenly, I hear a voice.

 

It was dim, but i definitely heard it. That warm, familiar voice.

 

When I heard that voice, I completely freeze.

 

“This voice...”

 

No.

 

It’s impossible.

 

_It’s impossible._

 

This voice...

 

A blurry image of that person comes into my mind, and I go into a complete silence, filled with shock, pain, and disbelief.

 

He should have long gone, so why...

 

The voice sounds a bit louder now I was sent back to the reality of my condition.

 

I can’t even think clearly. I can only think of how I should survive.

 

I just keep on crawling towards that voice. I don’t want to lose hope. Even though it’s only in my imagination, that’s fine too. I dragged my broken body towards that voice. It was my last shred of hope.

 

I just want to be saved.

 

“...please...”

 

Until my voice is hoarse and I feel my energy leave me, I keep muttering that word, again and again, before I fall onto the floor, despair swelling inside of my chest as I am dying, all alone.

 

I wish and wish and wish...

 

“Aoba... san...”

 

Until a complete darkness takes my sight away.

 

__

 

I wake up to the sounds of a beeping machine, and slowly, I open my eyelids.

 

The light is too much for me and I cringe, but after blinking several times, my eyes finally adjust with the lighting in the room.

 

“...”

 

After I slowly come in and regain my consciousness, I weakly move my head and check on my surroundings.

 

Where am I?

 

That’s the first question that comes inside my head.

 

I don’t recognize this room at all. The room is painted with nothing but white. It looked like some sort of laboratory, with so many cables and machines arranged neatly. It reminds me of a place where I was made long time ago, but i quickly dismiss the thought, as I can’t really remember that piece of memory really well.

 

There are a lot of machine and tubes attached to my body, and I can feel my body is slowly being stabilized.

 

...

 

...I...

 

I am still alive...

 

For some reason, I was saved, and even though I was in brink of shutting down permanently, now I am still alive and helped by the tubes to stabilize the errors in my body.

 

When I realize that, warmth of happiness and relief come from the bottom of my heart, and I let out a painful sigh.

 

I am so glad.

 

I am so, so glad.

 

I am still alive.

 

For anyone who heard my prayer, I am incredibly grateful for them.

 

Because of them now... I have a chance to fulfill my wish to Aoba-san.

 

Aoba-san...

 

Your existence has not disappeared at all. I understand that because right now I am still alive.

 

What I did to myself was unforgivable. I don’t think even think whatever I do can make it up for betraying Aoba-san’s promise.

 

But now I have eternal time to prove myself to you. To live and holding unto our precious memories—our treasure, forever.

 

To properly be happy as I keep our precious love, together, forever...

 

Because I am strapped to the bed, I can’t move my body much. Some parts of it was broken down and I can see that it is in the middle of fixing.

 

I feel really grateful for their care and once again smile, feeling warmth of genuine happiness envelope my chest.

 

From this time onwards, I will be able to properly be happy and fulfill Aoba-san’s promise.

 

A monitor near my bed suddenly turns itself on and I jerk my head up in surprise, looking at the fuzzy screen that’s still buffering. After awhile, a message box suddenly comes up and a rough familiar deep voice can be heard.

 

“...So you have woken up, Clear.”

 

Maybe because it’s been so long and my awful condition, I didn’t immediately know who is the owner of that familiar voice. It’s not until a moment pass, did I recognize whose voice it belongs to. And when i did, I let out a yell of surprise.

 

“...Ren-san?!”

 

Ren-san let out a low groan at my shrieking voice.

 

“Please don’t yell too much, It’s been so long since I was started on, so everything seems very weird and new for me at the moment...”

 

“Ah yes, I am sorry.” I said with an embarrrassed tone. I really am shocked, to finally hear Ren-san’s voice once again after so long...

 

He is nothing but a collection of data message and a voice at the moment, but still, I am happy. My memories are blurry, but I definitely remember trying to make an allmate body model for Ren-san, desperately trying to fix him back. I really thought I will never be able to do that, so to hear him again was a pleasant surprise. I never thought there will be a time where Ren-san’s AI chip can be used and synced into a machine like this.

 

“...I really am glad that I can meet you again, Ren-san.”

 

“...” Ren-san looks a bit hesitant, but in the end, he replies back with that deep, usual voice of his.

 

“It really surprises me. I really thought I will never wake up again.”

 

My smile fades, noticing a hint of sadness in Ren-san’s voice. Maybe he wanted to stay by Aoba-san’s side until the end, and starting up again was so unexpected for him since he thought he would definitely shut downn permanently.

 

I can understand his feelings. After all I did wish I could die with Aoba-san too.

 

“I don’t think it’s a really bad thing though,” Ren-san’s next words surprise me, and I look at him with a confused look. “I think no matter what, Aoba will be happier if I can acompany you.”

 

I stare at the monitors besides my bed with a warm smile. I can’t see his expression with that appearrance, but I can definitely feel Ren-san’s sincere gladness by his voice and his electronic sound wave.

 

_I wonder, how long time has passed since his death..._

 

A question pops in my mind at Ren-san’s state and I throw it at him.

 

“That’s right, Ren-san, you’ve awaken first before me, right? Do you know who fixed us?” My eyes softened at the memories of me crawling and begging in the floor of my bedroom to be saved. I was really pathetic, but I feel really grateful that someone heard my voice and saved me.

 

Ren-san oddly goes silent. For some reason, I can feel his confused, and yet concerned, feeling

 

“...Clear. I think, you’ve endured really well.”

 

“...eh?”

 

The answer he gave me has no relation at all with my question, so I look quizically at the jumbled of datas besides me, clueless at his words.

 

“You must have suffered so much, so I think you should properly be happy now.”

 

I see one of the connector cable connected me to the machine where Ren-san’s monitor was shown. Could it be that Ren-san has seen my memories of me failing Aoba-san’s promise? Did he see me break down in agony and go into such an awful state that he said those comforting words to me?

 

Suddenly, overwhelming shame come into my mind and I turn my gaze from Ren-san. I want to apologize for failing his wish as well, but I was too embarrassed to do so.

 

I didn’t know that the meaning of Ren’s words have much deeper meaning than that.

 

I didn’t know... until I hear that voice.

 

“Ah, so you’ve awoken.”

 

My head process the wavelength of his voice, and slowly, my eyes widen in a complete shock.

 

A young man come into the room, and Ren-san lets out a weirdly relieved sigh.

 

I stare at the man with a shocked gaze, as he walks towards me with that familiar smile.

 

...

 

I don’t understand. I can’t understand.

 

How... _why?_

 

“How are you feeling?” The man came near me with a playful grin. “You shouldn’t move so much, you were broken really badly back then.”

 

I didn’t listen to any of the words he said. I just stare at him with a dumbfounded face...

 

...as well processing the sound of his voice.

 

“I was really surprised you know? Finding you crawling and screaming like that. You were almost a goner back then, but you should not worry now. I have fixed most of the fatal ones. It’s only a bit left before you will completely recover.”

 

“....aah.”

 

The man looks at me with an unsatisfied look at my lack of response. His long hair—which is tied in a ponytail—swished gracefully as he turned his gazefrom me. “ ‘...ah’? Just that? Give me a bit more credit, will you? I was the one who fixed you after all.” The man sighs before sitting on my bed and gives me a small warm smile.

 

“But it’s really weird, you know? The time I saw you, you were already  in a state where fixing  you would be completely impossible. And yet you still was able to move towards me, as if you can hear my voice.” He touches a part of my skin before staring at my face—or to be exact my chin where the two moles of mine were. “And I… I don’t know why, but I feel like I should be the one fixing you no matter what, even if it’s impossible. Miraculously though now you’re awake.”

 

I feel a strong sense of de javu as I heard what he had just said to me, and my heart clench in pain.

 

_Truthfully... I wanted to be the one to fix you._

 

“...!”

 

My eyes are completely wide now, shock enveloping my whole body with stinging electricity.

 

My mind is still a jumble mess of confusion. But at the same time, I feel that shock slowly blossomed, growing into a small glimmer of hope.

 

This person... this person is...

 

Back then, I heard a voice. I couldn’t believe it at first, but I followed that voice. I followed it because even though it might be an imagination of my dying wish, I wanted to believe in that last shred of hope. Back then, I called for him, beg him to save me. I called him. I heard his voice, and I call for his name.

 

Back then, I heard this man’s voice, and I desperately crawl to him. I desperately came to him.

 

I thought, I was wrong... but this voice can never belong to anyone else.

 

“I am sorry, forget what I had just said. It must be confusing...” His eyebrows furrowed in worry at the change of my expression, and he reaches his hand to me. “What’s wrong? Do you feel weird somewhere?”

 

The moment he reaches his hand out, I catch his arm much to his surprise. He stares at me with an angry glare, before it faded into a complete surprise at my tearful face.

 

I... I know who he is.

 

My heart soared in happiness and I can’t stop the tears of falling down from my eyes for God knows how many times.

 

He has different appearrance—different eyes, different face, different hair.... but his voice is still the exact same as I remember him.

 

I thought... it was impossible. He has long gone, leaving me decades ago. But now he’s right in front of me. I know it’s him, it can’t be anyone else.

 

I would never mistake his voice for anyone else’s.

 

“Wait... are you oka—Uwaah!”

 

By now... I know who he really is, and I smile in a painful relief that I can’t hold my feelings anymore and pull him into a painful embrace. He is surprised, but he lets me hug him and allows me to cry on his shoulder.

 

_From now on, forever, I will always be happy._

 

Now... I am going to keep that promise properly.

 

I can say it to myself confidently now.

 

The memories of you and me, the proof of our love, the existence of you and the proof of my humanity...

 

I will treasure them. From now on. Forever with you.

 

He looks so lost, so confused with the entire thing, but I just can’t stop smiling—the warmth of happiness is slowly spreading all over my body and it’s so overwhelming.

 

I pull him closer to me, and I can feel the warmth of his skin against my body.

 

Then, softly... I whisper to his ear.

 

“I heard your voice, so I came...

 

...Aoba-san.”

**Author's Note:**

> (1) The love Aoba meant was not the love Clear usually say, ‘suki’ (好き) but ‘ai’ (愛). It has deeper meaning than the usual romantic love and often said in marriage to swear their lives on each other.  
> (2) Aoba always said this to Ren after giving Ren check ups.  
> (3) Ren always said this to Aoba after Aoba giving him check ups.
> 
> I am so sorry that the ending is very sappy and cliche. Their stories tend to be so tragic and I kinda wish there's a way to make it end in a happier note, so.


End file.
